Anxiety, stress, worry, self-doubt, indecision and procrastination are all expression of fear. If you suffer from these symptoms, you might have a fear pattern or fear reflex, a reaction that kicks in automatically when facing the unfamiliar, or the world in general.Negative expectations
What do you habitually expect or anticipate? The best or the worst? When we have a fear pattern, we tend to expect the negative in most things. We focus on the darker side of life, waiting for disaster to strike, looking for and preparing ourselves for a traumatic outcome. When good things do happen, we say, It's too good to be true, feeling suspicious and finding it hard to believe.
The faith and trust issue
At the root of this fear habit lies a lack of FAITH in life, in the future and in the goodness of human nature. We've lost TRUST in the world, in others and in ourselves. As infants or toddlers, when our physical and emotional needs were not met, we concluded that our parents or caretakers couldn't be trusted, that we were not OK as we were and therefore we could not trust ourselves. That was the perception and reaction of a two-year-old mind, an early coping strategy developed in order to survive and feel in control. Without faith in life and trust in ourselves, the world is indeed a very scary place. As a result, we became hyper-vigilant, always on guard, constantly scanning around us for signs of potential danger, or something bad to happen.
Decades later, we still have this tendency, or ego pattern.How do you let go of the fear pattern?
It involves shifting from our ego or fear-self, to our Spirit, Soul, or Higher-self. This process includes five definite steps:.
Step 1: Awareness and acceptance of the fear pattern
Becoming aware of the fear habit and realizing how it has controlled most of your life is the foundation of the healing process. You can then take responsibility for the pattern, accepting without judging, condemning or blaming yourself that you "played" the fear game. It was the best way for a two-year-old to cope but not for an adult. That old protection became a dysfunction.
Step 2: Intent and decision
Once you recognize and accept the pattern, you're ready to change. It takes a clear, unwavering intent to move beyond fear. It's a choice and a decision that needs to be affirmed, declared and stated formally.
Writing down your new decision will help get things moving forward.Step 3: Identifying and letting go of the pay-offs
What is the payoff from this fear pattern? What do you get from it? Is it a familiar sense of being or existing? Does it give you an identity, a distinct personality? Are you attached to it? We are so set in our ways, both consciously and subconsciously, that even if it hurts and makes us miserable, at least it's familiar, thus safe. The thought of change and letting go is infinitely more scary and unthinkable. Wouldn't it be totally crazy to let go of a coping strategy that saved your life in the first place? It's as if our very survival was at stake. Facing the resistance to dropping the fear pattern is not easy, but necessary.Step 4: Asking for help from Spirit
You don't have to do it on your own.
Having a fear pattern means that you operate from your ego most of the time. You need to turn to your spiritual side and ask for help, support and guidance. It means developing a connection to your Spirit, whatever your personal form of Spirit may be for you (God, Higher-self, Soul, Spirit guides, guardian angels, or simply your intuition, your heart or your essence). Opening up to your ever-present guidance and support from Spirit will help you notice all the coincidences, all the little miracles, all the doors opening in front of you, guiding you toward what is best for you.Step 5: The courage to embrace the fear and the emptiness
The most difficult and final step is to allow yourself to feel what's behind the fear.
We get stuck in the feeling of fear or anxiety but rarely take the risk of touching what the fear is defending us from, such as a sense of emptiness, alienation, alone- ness, disconnection and separation. This core feeling is always lurking in the background, but your ego and your fear pattern are preventing you from feeling it fully and moving beyond it. Having the courage to confront these painful feelings of emptiness means to feel them fully, to allow yourself to jump off the cliff and let yourself fall in the abyss of this black hole? only to find out that the emptiness, the horrible void so anticipated makes way for a sense of spaciousness and lightness, a sense of being supported and held as if you were floating in space. It's a beautiful feeling, the birth of a new you, rebuilding the wounded inner trust and faith brick by brick, gaining a new sense of self, the real Self.
You couldn't face the emptiness when you were two, but now as an adult you safely can. Fear is just the door to your real Self, and all you have to do is to step through it..Jacques Tripogney is a Self-Empowerment Coach, helping people shift from their ego and self-defeating patterns to their Higher-self, their Soul and Spirit.
He also conducts experiential workshops on "Healing Fear with Spirit". For more information, visit http://www.tripogney.com.
By: Jacques Tripogney