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Art Of Wick Selection


Attempteth this not, if thine art not fully prepared. This technique worketh best at Midnight on All Hallows Eve when there is a full moon, yea though if you be brave enough, attempteth it at any time. I would caution thee to read through all the steps before proceeding, as failure to follow each step in the proper order may summon forth a dreaded Demon of Paraffin.


1. Measure diameter of thine mold or container.

2. Calculate the formulae of wax to be used.

3. Maketh sure the moon is full.

4. Consulteth thine Zodiac.

5. Get thee to yon circle of standing stones.

6. Layeth the materiels to be used in centre of circle.

7. Remove thy clothes. Knoweth that this may be done alone, yet may be more fun with acolytes.

8. Anoint thyself with essence of oil and cotton.

9. Danceth in a countreclockwise direction whilst chanting prayers to thine Deity of choice.

10. At precisely the stroke of Midnight, shout out HELP! one time as a plea for divine guidance.

11. Hopefully, thee has now received a sign saying which wicke to use.

12. If no sign is forthcoming, take your best guess.

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